Recently I read “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle. As good as the book was, I am not going to take the time to review it. Instead I want to reflect on what I took away from it, and how it has changed how I approach my day to day life. For anyone that feels like something in life needs to change, or they are not as fulfilled as they could be, I highly recommend this book. For myself, it has helped me become less caught up in the worries of the past and present, and focus intently on enjoying the here and now. Below are my key takeaways.
You are not defined by your mind.
Often my head is so full of thought that it hurts throughout the days, weeks, and months. Not a stabbing pain like having a childhood migraine, but a dull, throbbing pain filled with calculation, worry, memory, and anxiety. It focuses on meeting deadlines, crunching numbers, remembering to respond to emails, and planning out the activities for the upcoming weekend all while creating an inner narrative. It really is an incredible tool to have at our disposal; but that is all it is. The mind is a tool, it does not define who we are, the feelings we have, or how we should go about our day. It is there for us to solve problems, and it likes to work as much as it can. When there are no problems to solve, it will create its own. This shows up in the form of worry and fear, and can play games with our emotions. However, as long as the mind is hard at work, we will never be present. We will be unable to enjoy the moment and really notice our surroundings. To be present, it is key to step away from our ego, mind, and thoughts, especially when worry and anxiety start to creep in. This sounds daunting, but there are a few ways to do this that have helped me. First, take a few moments every day to just focus on what is happening then and there. Notice the space around you, the sounds, the smells, key into your environment. If you are truly not focusing on the past or future, you will notice more about the space around you than ever before. Second, when the mind is working hard, step back and remember that your mind is just a tool. To be thoughtless for a moment doesn’t mean you cease to exist. Become an observer. Notice how the mind thinks, what problem it is analyzing or trying to solve, how it makes you feel, and just watch it at work. Detach yourself completely from the narrative it creates, and take time to feel present. One way I do this throughout the day is when I feel my mind speeding away, I sit back in my chair and just think, “I wonder what my mind will think next.” As insane as this sounds, it always provides at least a few seconds of stillness. My brain becomes a deer caught in the headlights, and I can take a breath before it starts speeding away again.
The Now is all we Have
Relating to the first takeaway, the mind loves to dwell on the past or worry about the future. It makes problems when it needs to work, and with these problems detaches us from the life we are currently living and the moment we are in. The crazy part of this is that at any point in time, the only thing we have to cherish, enjoy, and hold onto is the current moment. The current moment is what makes us feel alive. When I realized this, I looked back to all of my best memories in life. I won’t murder them with detail, but they all had a few things in common. First, in each of these moments I felt fully content and at peace with the situation I was in, my mind was turned off and there were no problems to solve. Second, at no point was I dwelling on the future or past. I was completely present in the moment and because of this, fully aware. An example of this is a recent trip I took to California. This trip with friends was without a doubt one of the best trips of my life. Looking back, throughout the whole trip, we were all present and enjoying every second with each other. None of us were worried about the drive back home, what the next day would look like, or what was happening at work. We were all at peace. It may not be straightforward to get to this point consistently, but it is key to happiness. We should always work towards our future, and hold onto our memories of the past, but to be happy is to be present, holding onto the beauty of the current moment we are in. One technique for doing this is when you start to worry about something in the future, just ask yourself, “But do I have any issues in this moment, right here and now?” If the answer is no, you can feel content in the fact that you stepped away from your mind and found peace in a hectic space. If the answer is, “Yes, I do have an issue.”, recognize it and accept it fully. In both cases we can feel composed with the fact that we surrendered to the moment.
Every Second is Gold
What do I mean by this? I mean that every second we spend wishing we were somewhere else, or wishing our situation was different is a second wasted for no good cause. Having these thoughts will not improve our current self, and certainly will not bring content and happiness in the present. This isn’t to say we shouldn’t strive for self improvement, but instead is a note to recognize that when we wish things were different, it is an opportunity to go into observation mode and feel the warmth of the present. A great example of this is my own weekend adventures. Every weekend I load up the car and drive hours to go skiing, biking, or hiking. For a long time I thought of the activity as the destination, the drive was just what I had to put up with to get there. However I recently started thinking of the drive as a key part of the activity. This has made me more enthusiastic to get out, less anxious in the car, and less wrapped up in how long it would take to arrive. I now enjoy the still time I get to just sit in the car and just observe. Any time we are present and accepting of the moment, we have the opportunity for a valuable memory which is not something you want to miss at the sacrifice of wishing you were somewhere else.
Step Away From Your Ego
Ego is a nasty thing. It is a product of our mind and constantly works to define us and separate us from our peers. It tries to show people that we are better than them, while actively telling us that we need to be better ourselves. It shows up in purchases we make, and things we do in an effort to define and force who we are on other people, but as we know, the mind and the things it buys does not dictate who we really are. We are only our true selves when we feel most genuine and at peace. Our egos are a huge source of stress and pain within the mind. The ego is constantly at risk of being damaged, and because of this, the mind worries about seeing it hurt. The only way to completely remove ourselves of this worry is to step away completely from viewing life as a game or competition. This is not easy, but it means realizing that everyone is equal, feeling content for who we are in the present moment, and not worrying about what other people think of us. Those who accept who they are and stop trying to define and project themselves as someone they are not will live a more fulfilling life because they are not constantly trying to find a better moment in time, or prove themselves to others. With these out of the way, we can all be free of worry, let our minds rest, and just be grateful for every second and the sensation it brings.
“As soon as you honor the present moment, all unhappiness and struggle dissolve, and life begins to flow with joy and ease. When you act out the present-moment awareness, whatever you do becomes imbued with a sense of quality, care, and love - even the most simple action.” -Eckhart Tolle
