I am an extremely occupied person, pretty much everyone that knows me can confirm this. Generally speaking, it is because I have a busy mind that has always been full of creativity and ambition. My brain is wired to constantly be working towards something or several things at once. This manifests itself as car restorations, part time graduate school, exercise, long hours at work, personal projects, and the blog that you are reading this second. Pretty much every second of free time I have, I find a way to fill. I am not an overly anxious person, actually I think I fall more into the easy going end of the spectrum with the exception of a few anxious moments from week to week, but I struggle to sit still. Whenever I do sit still or let myself be lazy, my mind attacks “Look how much time you’ve wasted.” “You need to do X, Y, and Z.” “There is something you could be doing right now to improve yourself.”. As a result, a lot of big accomplishments have felt dull for me because it is the expectation I have set for myself, and I am already too busy chasing the next big thing.

The weekends were no exception. After I graduated college, a typical weekend would involve waking up around 6 AM, meeting friends to go skiing, biking or hiking, repeat on Sunday, then come back home around 8 PM to get ready for the work week. It was always a ton of fun and I still have no regrets, but after about two years of this weekend cycle, I felt drained out.

It wasn’t until a few months ago that I had a change in perspective. I can’t put a finger on what triggered it, or the exact date, but at some point I just realized that it was ok to just chill. We all need rest, we all feel the fear of getting burnt out whether through work or play, and we should all be comfortable with a few moments or hours of wasted time.

Still being the owner of a busy mind, I filled my time with books. I hadn’t read consistently since high school, and to be honest I never knew I enjoyed reading so much. The younger me couldn’t let myself read for more than a few minutes because I felt like I was wasting valuable time. The reading I did do was always nonfiction because it at least made me feel like I was learning something and improving myself in some way.

Now things are different. I read books from all genres, and try to read regularly. I even try to squeeze a few pages in between meetings when I can. Surrendering to the fact that I am taking a few moments to calm myself is more than just soothing. It is a way for me to be present in the moment, not worry about anything in the past or future, lose track of time in the pages of a book, and just be grateful for where I am.

Taking moments to chill changed how I run my life as well. I now worry less about how long it will take me to finish a car restoration project and keep track of time less in general. Being present in the moment without the pressure of productivity has helped me enjoy even small moments like driving my car to the office, listening music, or wandering aimlessly around a mall at night. At work, I put more emphasis into enjoying the process and not thinking about the end result, or what will come next. This makes my work more thorough, attentive, and thought out. I think I am even more productive as a result, work and projects feel less daunting. Some weekends, I choose not to go full throttle both days. This is a weird feeling, but taking a day to rest, catch up on errands, and just read makes the day I do get out so much more valuable.

I think it is easy for us all to set high expectations for ourselves and unconsciously push ourselves too far. There may not be a defined breaking point, but the burnout is always looming and ready to strike when you need energy the most. Taking some time for yourself is underrated, and often shamed with this toxic work/grind culture we live in, but it is important. Take time to catch up on sleep, errands, and books no matter how much your busy mind may fight it. If you are like me, you may be surprised at how much you will enjoy it.

“The opportunity to step away from everything and take a break isn’t something that should be squandered.” - Harper Reed